Tag Archives: Chrissy Omari

Quarantine Epiphany #1: Donald Trump, Cinderella & PMS

25 Jul

As I settle into quarantine, I’m beginning to find myself again.  I’ve never spent this much time at home without feeling guilty in the past. I’ve spent a great deal of time reflecting. Today, as I folded clothes, I decided to watch a movie to mute the constant Donald Trump and Covid 19 coverage on my social media.  I chose Cinderella.  The version that was made in 2015.   Pause.  I must add the disclaimer that “Ever After” is my favorite movie.  I thought that Cinderella 2015 was “Ever After” lite.  Unpause.  My favorite part of almost every Cinderella movie is when Cinderella walks into the ball in her gorgeous dress and everyone looks at her because she is so beautiful.  When that happened in this movie, I became emotional. By the time Cinderella and the Prince started dancing, I had to take deep breaths and consciously stop myself from crying.  I’m going to go ahead and admit right now that I might be PMSing, but it doesn’t negate my epiphany.  

In this version of Cinderella, the wicked, but very attractive stepmother locks Cinderella in the attic.  When the Prince’s men get to Cinderella’s house, they find that the shoes don’t fit anyone (because Cinderella is locked away with some rats) and just before they are about to leave, one of the King’s guards hears Cinderella’s melodious singing.  You can imagine how the rest goes.  Yada, Yada.  When the Prince rescues Cinderella, I got emotional again and by the time they walk out of the door together, I couldn’t hold back my tears.  I was happy for her, but the part that made me sob was when she turns toward her wicked, but attractive stepmother and says, “I forgive you”.  At that point, I’m done.  Tears.  Tears.

It was a cute movie, but not cry-worthy cute, so why (besides PMS) was I crying? I blame Donald Trump.  Hear me out.  First, I think movies like Cinderella set us (meaning women) back.  They set me back because I always wanted to be Cinderella(ish). Like Cinderella, I’m not super poor, but don’t come from money.  She was always kind to everyone no matter what they did to her.  I’m nice to everyone too.  She forgave her tormentor.  I forgive.  I cried when she got engaged to the prince because I was happy that someone good got something in return.  I like seeing good people get good things.   

This movie set me back because in my heart of hearts, I want to be pure of heart like Cinderella and I believe(d) (I’m still deciding) that I will get my happy ending, but then I see Donald Trump and his success is a glaring reminder that all of the lessons I learned about kindness and virtue being rewarded are lies.  It’s  more logical that people made up these kindness lessons as a way to make sure people stayed kind and accepted abuse while smiling so that they could continue achieving their goals without resistance.  

Hence, Mr. Trump.  His life is proof that the bad guy wins.  I’m absolutely not as critical of Trump as most people are, so I don’t mean the bad guy in the sense that he’s a diabolical reincarnate of pure evil.  He’s just not Cinderella or the noble prince. He was born rich.  He will die rich.  People try to put him down by saying he’s a millionaire instead of a billionaire.  It’s ridiculous.  They don’t hear themselves.  I heard a correspondent say that she didn’t like his confidence because he had no reason to be confident and had no accomplishments.  What?!  He’s the President of the United States.  That’s a huge accomplishment if you ask me.  He’s never waited tables.  He’s never worried about bills.  He doesn’t have any reason to doubt his abilities.  He doesn’t have any reason to believe negative things people say about him.  When people mistreat him or call him names, he doesn’t have any legitimate doubt about if they are right.  He just thinks, “they are jealous” or “they are foolish”. 

In stories, the president is the hero.  The hero has humility, strength and integrity.   The hero overcomes something. This is why we believe that the guy with super strength or the multi-millionaire can relate to us.  In the 2015 Cinderella movie, the Prince’s father died and he chose to marry a commoner over a princess.  I’m not buying that he fell in love that quickly, but you get what I mean. I don’t see what Trump has overcome. I’m sure he’s not the only president born with a silver spoon in his mouth without a story of adversity, but he’s the first president that we’ve been saturated with so fully in my lifetime.  The disconnect between the winner/hero/leader of my Cinderella story and our actual leader is obvious. There are no obstacles that don’t originate with shadiness.  There is no humility.  There is no integrity.  When I see his corruption, his inability to communicate and his arrogance, it confirms that the good people don’t really get the good things.  This ignites an inner cognitive battle within me.  In real life, Cinderella’s ass would have remained trapped in that attic while the Prince moved on with his life.  She would’ve escaped and moved to a city alone.  If her looks didn’t fade, she might have met someone, but she wouldn’t be a princess.   She’d think about what could have been if she hadn’t been thwarted by her evil, but attractive stepmother, who stole her house btw . . . but that’s another whole other issue. 

I’ve idolized kindness and sincerity so long that I don’t even know how to achieve things without those standards acting as my foundation.  How do you succeed with sincerity when the competition lies?  How do you achieve with kindness when the competition will beat your face in? I don’t know, but I do know that I don’t want to end up full of regret like real life Cinderella, so I guess I’ll have to figure it out.

“The Chrissy Show”

14 Nov

It is very interesting how someone can do something in an attempt to belittle you, but their actions can give you positive insight into your own beliefs.  Earlier this week, I received an e-mail from a person of low moral character.  The e-mail was filled with things (mostly lies) written specifically in an effort to hurt my feelings.  That stood out to me because as an adult, I can’t really remember a time that another adult has done something to me specifically and intentionally to hurt my feelings.  Usually when people hurt your feelings as an adult, it is usually very unintentional and/or a misunderstanding in my experience.  Anyway, in this message, this person of low moral character told me that if I didn’t comply with his masochistic demands that I would be forced to continue living in “The Chrissy Show”.  Of course, he went on to request that I not share the e-mail with anyone else. SMH! Evil and darkness love to stay hidden away.  It was very clear from the tone of the e-mail that he meant “The Chrissy Show” as an insult, but the thing is I really like “The Chrissy Show”.  Actually, I LOVE “The Chrissy Show”.  It’s pretty awesome.  It’s my favorite!!!  What’s not to like about it?  It’s smart, funny, attractive, kind and it can “drop it low” in the club, well . . . scratch that last one, but it loves to boogie!  Intellectually, I understand that for some unexplainable reason people are not supposed to declare that they love themselves, but I’m going to just admit that I’m perplexed about why anyone else wouldn’t see how amazing “The Chrissy Show” is. (Yes, I’m going to end that sentence with a preposition because I can – I’m Chrissy and it’s my show!)  In fact, I’m going to make sure that my wonderful son Horace loves “The Horace Show”.  This morning, I realized that this person wrote this to me because he hates the fact that I love “The Chrissy Show” so much mostly because he’s disappointed in his own show.  Here’s my bottom line:  I am the only one who has to love “The Chrissy Show”, but the world would be such an amazing place if everyone loved “The (your name here) Show” because if you really, truly love and appreciate “The (your name here) Show”, then you would never have time to write long love letters about what you don’t like about “The (someone else’s name) Show.” Image
(Prepping for “The Chrissy Show”)

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(Prepping for “The Chrissy Show”)

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“Some people make me laugh.”

Big Brother is watching . . . so I shall dance for him!

11 Jun

The big news out of Washington this week is that the government has not only been listening into our phone calls, but also monitoring our e-mail accounts.  I guess I read too many conspiracy novels because I pretty much already had a hunch that this kind of things was occurring.  I thought it was more of a “keyword” thing though.  I supposed that if someone said “bomb” or “murder politician” too many times, the government had an alert that would begin monitoring calls.  I consider myself very liberal, but I just can’t seem to talk myself into caring about it.  I love Bernie Sanders and I’m usually on the same page with him about civil liberties, but not this time.  I just don’t care.  Not in the least.  I’m not going to modify the internet sites that I visit – even the unseemly ones, nor will I edit my phone conversations.  I have mixed feelings about the popular saying “He who has nothing to hide, hides nothing”.  I don’t agree.  I am an open book for the most part, but do I want everyone in the world to know my personal preferences and thoughts?  Hmmm . . . not really.  Yet, as I sit and think about it, it is the reason that I don’t want everyone to know my innermost thoughts that is troublesome to me.  It’s not that I’m ashamed of my thoughts.  Even my inappropriate thoughts are pretty justifiable in my opinion and my crazy thoughts, which I do have from time to time, are acceptable because I know they are crazy thoughts.  (I think the problem arises when a person has crazy thoughts, but doesn’t have the self introspection to recognize them as such, but that’s another blog post).

Anyway, the reason that I am hesitant about sharing my innermost personal thoughts is fear of judgment.  It took me a while to realize it, but now that I have, I have to take action.  My new year’s resolution for 2013 was to start a blog.  It’s June and I haven’t done a single post.  At first, I rationalized that it was because I was too busy.  I’m a single mom with two jobs and I’m working on my MBA.  I don’t really have time to sit and write a blog, do I?  But, I find time to watch my favorite shows every week and I found time to reply to long drawn out e-mails with long drawn out e-mails to a “certain someone” who was getting on my nerves and I find time to go on Facebook to comment on posts that interest me.  I’ve also found time to go on dates with men (Lawdy lawd!!! That is another blog post or 10 or 20) and I’ve found time to have blog battle extravaganzas on Youtube, WordPress and other sites.  I would intend to write one sentence and the next thing you know, I had a novel written.   So, since my motto for 2013 is to “Live in Truth”, I had to face the truth. It wasn’t the time factor that was stopping me from starting my blog.  When the “big brother” news came out of Washington and I noticed my complete apathy about the whole thing, I realized it was the “fear factor”!  Fear of judgment from other people.

This isn’t where the fear started, but this situation definitely confirmed it for me.  One of the first times that I got emotional and went on a Facebook rant, I posted that my child’s father was in arrears in his child support payments.  (Note: Currently, he has been good about paying his court-ordered amount and is diligently chipping away at the arrears.  I write that because he told me that if I wrote anything about him, he would sue me for libel.  Poor thing isn’t aware that truth is an affirmative defense to libel, but that’s another blog post.) During that rant, I put the actual amount that he owed me at that time on-line.  Posting that really did make me feel good.  Not for long though.  Although, I thought the tone was light, I guess the subject matter was too heavy.  I got about a dozen e-mails and some phone calls and texts telling me that I should not post my personal business on a public forum.  Some of the messages were from people who I could give two cow poops about, but others were from people that I loved and highly respected.  I told people that I didn’t care about what people knew about my personal life because someone knowing information about me wasn’t going to change the information, but it could help the situation or help someone else going through the same thing to know they weren’t alone. That’s what I told myself too, but I still didn’t start writing my blog.  I didn’t start it because in the back of my mind, I thought “Are they right?”  “Should I just keep my personal life to myself?”   Well, after careful consideration, I think they were 50% correct.  I am going to keep my personal life to myself . . . but, I’m going to keep it to myself on my own little blog . . . introducing . . . “Chrissy’s Pennies”!  So, if my personal life offends someone, they are welcomed to not read about it, they are equally welcomed to read and tell me how offensive my personal opinions and thoughts are to them and EVEN MORE welcome to post “Right on! Soul Sistah!”  if they agree or if they have been catapulted from the 1970s to 2013 and still say “Soul Sistah”.   Here is what I won’t do anymore:  I won’t be afraid to post my personal thoughts and feelings in long form on the internet for all to see because I’m afraid that someone, no matter how good intentioned he or she may be, will judge me or feel sorry for me.   I may decide not to write for other reasons, but never again because I’m afraid of judgment.  Life is too short and judgment is too vast.

The most intriguing thing about judgment in my personal experience is that it usually, not always, but usually comes from people who do absolutely nothing for me financially and provide no added positive value to my life.  I am sure that there are people who truly love me that do judge me, but they at least have the forethought to keep it to themselves and for that I’m thankful.  Another thing that I notice is that it usually comes during a moment of weakness.  It seems like those are the times when people come out of the woodwork to jump on the hypocrisy tree.  There is such a fine line between living in reality and being a negative Nancy that I think it’s difficult for people to recognize the difference between the two outlooks. I am not a negative Nancy, I am a genuinely happy person that has lived through very tumultuous experiences, some joyous, some sad, some exhilarating and some depressing.  I shouldn’t have to limit myself to only sharing the joyous and exhilarating experiences for fear that someone will call me “angry” or “bitter”.  Personally, I believe that God orchestrates all of my experiences, the good and the bad ones, the ones that cause me to smile and the one that cause me to rant, so I will use my blog to smile and rant as I see fit.   I have been called “self-focused” by a particularly unenlightened woman.  I was offended at first, but then I realized that I am a tad self-focused and I’m okay with that.

These are the thoughts that flooded to my mind as my television screen was flooded with images of the “whistle blower” who claims to have evidence that “Big Brother” is listening in on us.  I don’t care if “Big Brother” is listening in on my phone calls or searching through my internet pages.  If James Comey wants to know my thoughts, all his has to do is read this blog or he could just follow me on twitter because my twitter is connect to my Facebook.  I apologize to Martin Bashir and Bernie Sanders and my other liberal comrades who are outraged by this new information, but I’m ready to do more sharing, not less.

Here’s the deal:  I’m not infallible.  I don’t really take myself that seriously and my opinions may change, but I’m going to allow myself to have them and share them. I don’t want to force them upon anyone else, but I will share them honestly and truthfully the way I feel and I’ll do it for me – not anyone else.

I am a writer, so I shall write . . . and I hope you read . . . and comment. 🙂Image